Ever have those sudden thoughts that maybe you aren't quite all there? That's been me tonight. For whatever reason I can't sleep - I laid down around 1:30 with my machine (CPAP machine to keep me alive) and even after 30 minutes I just wasn't able to fall asleep. It was definitely frustrating. My stomach was growling, making sure that I knew that it was hungry.
It is now a few minutes to 5:00am and I am still awake. I ate something at least, but my stomach pains are still there, hope it isn't something serious.
I feel disconnected with the world. Granted, without my phone active at the moment that makes sense. I need to get my taxes done (if they ever work, damn program) and then get my phone back online. Besides that I just feel meh... maybe its the machine, and my disappointment that its not working as flawlessly as I want - I still wake up and take it off, etc.
I need to lose some weight - I think overall that is my biggest contributor to my sudden depression. No, I am not some chronic depressed individual, but my weight is definitely making me feel pretty bad about myself. I hope to go to the track tomorrow, if the weather is nice, and try to walk off a bit.
I miss chatting to those friends that I always used to be able t talk to. I've tried, but people just don't talk back, and its sad. I've seemed to have lost some friendships in the maelstrom that is life, and I hope I can get them back soon! Even if I have to risk drowning in those torrential seas.
