Here we are again.

Well Blog, here I am again. Seems like I am posting a lot more, and well... I guess I am now aren't I? Not that there is anything wrong with that. Most of my posts are just mindless drivel, or bitching/whining/moaning, so well.. yeah.

Things haven't been too bad lately, all things considered. I am still standing. I was off coke for 5 days... I had a Coke Zero last night, just because I was really getting bad. Coke Zero has no sugar though, so to me, thats still alright, since well.. the sugar content of coke is whats killing me. One of these every few days though should help make the process easier. I won't be drinking like 4 a day type thing though.

Got some very interesting news this week, and while I didn't take it the best those first few hours, since then I am in a lot better mind and realize that it is the greatest thing. Congrats darling.

Sitting here waiting for my ride to work... my ankle flared up this morning, I mean... its probably my fault, stepped out of bed onto a ps2 controller, and it twisted wrong... but hey! How was I supposed to know that controller would be there. Bah!

We played our first game of Hockey on Sunday, and won to boot! 7-6 in a shootout, huzzah! It was good. I didn't run all out, but I got a few good shifts in and was pleased.

Well.. hope all is well on your end guys.

Miss you,

-Ryan; Exiled.

Question?

I spend a lot of time thinking as you all know, and well, I got a question...

At what point do you step back from everything, or do you keep going, keep trying despite what you think you are picking up, vibe wise from those around you?

Its a weird question, thats not the way I think it needs to be worded, but its hard to take all the thoughts from my mind and put them into one question.

I guess what I am trying to get at, is that I don't want to add to the confusion and chaos of life, but am too stubborn to back down. At the same time, I worry I am not pushing hard enough to make my presence known... I don't know. Everything is confusing.

Just another random thought from my head.

Drained.

I am drained. Simple as that. I have run out of energy.

Someone help...

Always fighting something...

Thats about it. It isn't rare that I am fighting something at some point during my life.. This week's competitor is the stomach flu. It has really hit me hard the last 2 days and I am feeling it still. The flu has been going around though, a few others have it, and its not fun.

I've also decided its time to quit drinking coke. For real this time. No more rum/cokes or anything. I am stopping this now. It is going to be a tough run, but I am sure I can handle it with the help of friends around me.

Christmas is coming up, and I am still undecided if I want to do anything. I've thought about a tree, but in reality it isn't going to bring me any extra cheer, so I'll probably skip the whole idea.

I don't even know what I am going to do... the obvious idea is there, but I am not able to make a trip right now, financially. I need to get my debts cleared.

That is about it, going to try and get a bit of sleep... ugh.

Take care friends.

Shadows looming overhead.

I am disappointed.

I feel let down.

I have waited months for this book. Books are everything to me right now. I love to read. Alas, the one book I've waited so long for get released and do we get it in town? Of course not. Why on Earth would we get a book on release day, or even within 5 days after release day?

Suffice to say it has left a sour taste in my mouth.

So here I sit, with no book... Confessor eludes me, lord knows when it will be in. I strategically planned my reading so that I finished Phantom on Friday. Payday. I'd go down, buy Confessor and read the final book of the series at a nice pace, just after finishing Phantom... Now I have no book for tomorrow at work.

Thats about all I have to rant about this weekend. I feel ill, my sleeping sucks, and I am confused as all hell about my life.

Hope you guys had a better weekend.

Over the hills and far away...

Life has been good lately. I can honestly sit back and say that with conviction in my voice. I am not really having many bad days, they do happen but for the most part I believe that I am doing good. Prince George was good for me, despite lacking a bit of fundage at the moment, I have no regrets. My Sleep Apnea took a vacation of its own while I was gone, giving me the opportunity for a week of perfect sleep, waking up refreshed and ready for the new day. Rachel and I talked, we think it might be stress induced. I had been stressing a lot the past few months before I went to PG. Some minor things, some major, but stress is stress in whatever shape/form it comes in.

I miss Prince George though. I miss what was there, the different lifestyle. Most of all I miss being around Rachel. It hasn't even been two weeks since I left, and already I long to return. I know I can't, not yet at least. We have fun together, never a bad moment, never a comment meant to hurt or anything, hell the only time we ever come close to an argument is about who is and isn't allowed to say sorry, or about me helping with dishes (I will do them one day Rachel!). We get along great, and I am always with a smile. Even really depressing news that arrives while I am there, while it hurts, and still does hurt, didn't remove the smile from my face while I was there.

Halloween was awesome. Rachel and I put a great deal of effort, in minimal time into our costumes and I think they turned out simply amazing. Tier 5 Warlock with his sexy succubus. Who was truly the master though... even I don't know that answer. Suffice to say it made for a great evening, and I loved the looks people gave us at the restaurant. It was fantastic. My shoulder spikes made for a nuisance at the table for the waitresses to walk past lol!

Part of me wishes I was still there. But then I know that it would be awkward for Rachel, and anyone else there for that matter. I don't want to make things awkward for anyone. I just want to be where I am comfortable, and see my future. PG will hopefully be my future for school come September. Now, that isn't saying that I am not happy here in Rupert, because that isn't true. I am happy here, I just don't see my future in Rupert. At least not the next couple years.

I am trying to get my life in gear, my career, and well, all in all, my future. I feel like I've been left in the dust. So many people around me are going off to med school, or are finishing up their apprenticeships, and here I am still without any real post secondary education. I don't regret my decisions (A very special someone told me never to regret), I do however think that I need to learn from these decisions, and capitalize on it for next time.

I look forward to seeing if I can get into UNBC. I've wandered the school and like what I see. Although I won't put all my eggs in one basket, as I will try other schools as well, who knows BCIT, or SFU or whatnot. We'll see where the future takes me. All I know is that I am going one way or another.

I hurt my ankle a few weeks back, and it is having a hard time healing. Try as I might to bandage it and whatnot, it still hurts a lot of the time. Hockey season is fast approaching and I need to be in my best form to last. I am contemplating Squash on sunday to try things out, but that might not work. We'll see though.

I've taken a break from WoW. Its not going to be a really long break, but it will be a break. I have stopped raiding for now, and while upon my return I still won't be raiding, I will be back among my friends here having fun and pvping etc.

I am playing LoTRO a bit more with Rachel, Ric, Jane and Mike. I am branching out and meeting new people, and getting to know them slowly. These things take time. I am having fun though, and that is what matters.

I wish there was more for me to say. Christmas is coming up soon. I don't know what I am doing though. Ugh.

I wish the answers were a bit easier for me to grasp though... I really don't like wandering aimlessly for too long. The direction of my life is there though, I just need to figure it out.

Til next we meet my friends, farewell.

-Ryan.

...I miss you.

Bliss.

Evening friends,

I am home now, back in Prince Rupert.

I had a phenomenal time in Prince George with Rachel.

Warlock/Succubus was a complete success. *claps*

I'll write more, and more detailed in the days to come, worry not.