True Feelings.

How does one deal with their true feelings? I am finding myself getting to many crossroads in my travels, and the road that I want to take, is blocked. I see the other roads, and they seem clear, and easy... but it isn't what I want. So, how do I deal with the feelings?

I often mentally abuse myself because I am too caring, and I set myself up for hurt. I worry far too much about everyone around me, and very rarely take a moment to look at myself. Now, I am not saying that I have to stop completely, because I could never do that. What I do mean is that if I care too much, and try to help those around me, I am going to eventually become a pest and need to be removed. I don't want that.

I realized that I need to get my life going. I was kids. A beautiful daughter named Sera. (Yes, Sera is going to be my first daughter's name.) I want to have a wife that I love, and would do anything for. I want to be happy and have that life that I wake up in the morning and want to be apart of. Not the cold embrace of my empty room.

Of course, these are just mental observations. I realize I need to get out there, that these things won't just come find me, but certain feelings stop me from moving forward.

Nothing is ever easy.

Other than that, things are going good. Work is over for the summer, I am growing a goutee (It isn't half bad), and am spending time with my lovely ladies Nina and Anita. <3 ya girls!

I am really happy that I've been talking with Rachel and Kristen a bit more too. The three of us are all dealing with being alone, and it is great to help up each other when we need it. That and its been a while since Rachel and I talked much, so I think it is really good. Except the fact that the world sees just how fucked up I am lol!

Alright, I need to crash. Been a long day.

Happiness will find me. It has to.