The Daggers come back...

Evening friends, once again I bring for you a plate of a variety of forms of mindless drivel, and information that you probably don't need to, or want to for that matter, hear. But then of course, this is my space to put things, so it really doesn't matter. Onwards I go.

I don't really know what I am doing anymore. I get that feeling like I am spinning around aimlessly again, and I really need to rid myself of that. Everytime I think my life is taking direction, and I am making progress, it is snatched away from me by an unknown and unseen force. It is quite disheartening. I just don't know what to do about it.

I have a general look at my future. I am going back to school. School lasts 6 years... that is a very long time, although potential for longer is there, if I go for my Masters instead of my teaching. Anything is possible. But that is just a very basic look at my future. The finer details aren't there. The finer details are what I strive to find out about.

The thought of going to Europe is still in my mind. I am really seriously considering a 2nd job, to afford the funds to go on a trip of this magnitude. I really think I would have a lot of fun with Rachel/Ric/Jane in Europe. Even if I only caught them for a few weeks, it would still be great. It would be expensive, yes. But it would be something that would stick with me forever.

At the same time, if I was unable to go with them, I'd consider going to some place by myself. Now I know its dangerous to go by myself, but noone else can really go with me, because of work and whatnot, so it would be me on my own. Sounds like loads of fun, I know... Going to some place like Rome by oneself, lol. Such is life.

Bowling has been going alright. Its a lot of fun. Anita and I are on a team, with a few others from Softball, and the manager of the alley. Its fun. Of course, we are usually pretty far away from the other team of friends, Eso/Nina/Kristen/Eunice, so we don't get to sit and have fun together as a group as much as we did the times before, but its still good. Once Curling starts up, we'll be hanging out as a group a lot more I am sure. Well, Myself/Eso/Anita and Nina.

Work has gotten a lot better this week. I worked the last two days of the week in my new position, and I am very happy with it. So happy that I had a really nice sleep Thursday night, which has been a rarity for me these past months. I hope the rest of the year goes great in this posting.

With my work changed, to a point where I believe I will be happy the whole year, I am not going to be considering moving anywhere. Not until atleast the end of the summer. (If I get to school at UNBC or other places). I'm sorry Rachel, I know how happy you'd be if I was moving to PG. :P

Downside to the job I am in is the amount of abuse my immune system takes. Currently I am just feeling like hell. Practically dead to the world. Sometimes wish I was. Haven't been able to keep any food down this afternoon/evening, and the cough is just crippling. Somedays I just dunno about myself. Of course, it helps if I was actually healthy.

Thanksgiving is fast approaching. I don't think my folks are doing anything this year, maybe just a simple dinner. I dunno. I think I am going to get Loki some nice cat food, and just relax with a sandwich or something. Some folks are doing a Thanksgiving dinner, or trying to, but the guest list isn't as appealing to me as others. As such I will keep my distance from that event. Sorry darling. :(

I need to get my hair dyed again. I have to remember to talk to my boss at work on Monday about any policies regarding hair dying. Part of me wants to put red back in it again, but I just don't know what I will do. My hair right now is just downright ruined. The sun from california just turned my hair (the bits that were dyed) almost a blondish color, and then a bit of silver and brown makes for just... a different hair color... I don't like it though, especially with a goute that is coming in a different color.

Suffice to say I am just trying to find my place in the world right now.I feel like an outcast somedays, hearing information from 3rd party sources about things friends are doing, that I am not included in, or just not being in the right place/time. Getting overlooked for things that I may actually want to do, but my past preferences would corrupt their judgement.

My heart is still in thrall too. It doesn't know what it wants to do. Where it wants to go. But more often than not I will be hoping it tells me, because I so want to be out of this limbo that is my current state. I want to be happy in ALL aspects of life, and there are a few that I am not as happy with as others.

This has gone on long enough, I thank you for reading, as always. Quickly now, go and tell others who need to know. /sigh.

Til next we meet.