For the Dreamer.

Time has passed, I have watched friendships fade into nothingness. I have stood by and stared blankly into the distance as I saw my world crumble around me, yet did nothing to stop it.

Time has passed. But, just as time has passed and I watched chaos rule, and watched the pain and suffering, time has also passed and allowed me to bring myself back from the brink of destruction.

Time has allowed me to heal the wounds of that same past. Allowed me to find a new road, a road less travelled, a road that while, at this time, may seem wrong, may seem... foolish... it could bear the greatest fruits of all. That road is the road I now walk. Yes, its a long road, and at times is empty, devoid of all life save my own... but at other times, is filled with the love and joy that I share with my most cherished of friends. While this road I walk now may have its faults, and there may be times when I find myself face first in the mud, because I wasn't watching where I was going; I know, in my heart, that I will always get up and continue on my way, because this, this road that I have chosen for myself, is the road that I want to be on. That is my decision. No one can take this from me.

Life hasn't been bad these past few months. I have spent my time busy with the school district maintenance department. A job that I found would be far more beneficial than spending my time on EI. I feel at this point in time, despite missing softball for the most part due to fatigue, that it was a great decision. I learned a lot this summer. Far more than I expected. Many different trades, although just touching the surface of them, has given me a lot of knowledge for the future.

I have spent my time with friends. Seeing my darling dearest and her newborn when I can, and when she is feeling like visitors. At other times, I sit and read the postcards, and feel the pain of the feelings that won't get the chance to flourish outside of my own body. Other times still I can be found having a few drinks and rocking out to Rockband with a larger group of friends. Great times to be had by all. I spend time in deeper conversation with friends... discussing the important things in life, and often times find myself asking aloud why things that seem so good, can't be brought into reality. But sometimes there aren't answers... or that the answers are not the ones I want to hear...

I am three days away from my first class... I have waited a long time to take this step, to cross this threshold again, and I won't let anything stop me this time. I shall succeed and not even my own fears or my own words, can prevent it. I shall work hard, and do things properly this time. I won't fail.

To you, my Aggro. I miss you dearly. Regardless of what happens in life, I want to thank you for everything, and just hope that time does not allow us to drift too far apart, and that no matter the distance, we can still be friends. If I can have but that one request, I shall be ever so grateful.

I sit here now, listening to Requiem For a Dream, and I am inspired. This song fills me with so much energy that I don't know how to even begin to contain it. My spirit soars just hearing the opening few notes. I have a lot of energy contained... years of it... and this song has such an overpowering effect on me... it allows me to feel that energy on a much larger scale... to bask in it... A wonderful feeling indeed. My heart races as the tempo builds... Very few songs that my ears have heard have had such a result... its weird, I know. I'm crazy. I get it.

As it stands, life will go on. While I am still the single man that the world fell in love with nearly two years ago, I have changed expontentially in every other facet of my own self. I am proud of what I have become, what I have worked to overcome.

I won't let you down. This I promise.

To my friends, my loved ones... I now, as always, wish you the best in your lives.