The problems within...

How does one make up for so much lost time?

I often ask myself how I am going to get caught up, for all that I've missed; chances and opportunities that have come and gone. Honestly, I have no answer. I've sought to find it, but so far nothing. Now here I sit, drifting backwards more and more.

I seem to be gradually drifting away from most of the circle of friends too, and that worries me. I don't know how to remedy that problem either. I know it is something that I need to deal with, but anything I try, will most likely backfire, and set me back farther. I don't want that to happen.

This morning, between the time I left the house to walk to work, and arriving at work, the power went out. Now, I don't know if I was somehow responsible for that... I really don't know. All I know is that it left me with a very uneventful day.

I wanted to do something, I wanted to go for a walk, get some exercise, coffee, anything.

Unfortunately, noone else was in the general area or wanting to talk to yours truly, so my desires for the day went unfulfilled, and left me feeling quite empty today.

I keep most of my depression to this blog. I am slowly building up the walls, and soon the stone like exterior of Ryan's emotions will be back, stronger than ever. Lack of emotion will help me I am sure. I've done it before, I can do it again.

I don't even have the passion to write tonight... god I hate this.

My life...