The Void.

Ahh the void, my home away from home. I tend to dwell in this place of nothingness often these days. Its like a cabin at the lake during Summer. Quiet and peaceful. A little too peaceful though.

The void is a place that I go to from time to time, to think, and just reflect on the life that I am living. What choices I need to make in the future, both long term and short. Who I need to make those choices with. For what reasons, what benefits, and what obstacles there may be with each decision. The downside with the void, is that while its very quiet, it is also very lonely, and I tend to latch onto that loneliness and it is very hard to leave the void.

Of course this doesn't make sense to any of you, but whatever.

I spent time there today; thinking about the past, the present and the future. About the problems I've faced, facing and will face. Spent time trying to figure out just when my life is going to pick up pace and get moving. Questions that answers are hard to find.

Everyone is out watching the Canucks game right now. While I detest the Canucks, one would think the opportunity to get out and be with everyone would be reason enough to go... yet something stops me. I can't figure out where my motivation goes with things like this.

Tomorrow looks promising. I can go swimming with my school, and then visit a friend after that. just relax and enjoy chatting, and then afterwards hopefully hit the track for a good bit of exercise. Pending weather of course, can't have my Nina dearest getting sick on me.

Thinking like that is usually the only way I can get out of my void... and the worst days are the ones when I have nothing to look forward to. Where I have nothing to grab onto and pull myself out... On those days, I truly am at the end of my line.

Here's to hoping.